“I'm a naturally curious and relationally-oriented person, which is why I'm looking forward to getting to know you.”
What was your path to becoming a therapist?
I identify as gay, and that experience of otherness has always informed my therapy practice and my stance as a clinician. An anti-oppressive lens is central to my work. I love meeting people and connecting beneath the surface. I'm a naturally curious and relationally-oriented person, which is why I'm looking forward to getting to know you. My mom was a therapist when I was growing up. Our dinner table would come alive with conversations about feelings, people, relationships, conflict, connection, mental health - all the important stuff. Of course, I got interested. I decided to pursue a career as a therapist myself. With years of formal training and experience - combined with my informal training around the kitchen table - I feel confident I can help you.
What should someone know about working with you?
We all bring our identities into the therapy space. In order for us to have an authentic connection in our work together, it's important to acknowledge our intersectional identities. I've worked with clients across the wide spectrum of races, cultures, ethnicities, immigration statuses, sexualities, relational styles, and religious beliefs. I make space for conversations about identity, privilege, and power in our work together. My approach is warm, collaborative, relaxed, and conversational. I don't lecture you and I don't "teach" you. We work together. I create a safe environment where you'll feel validated. You'll be productively challenged to face the struggles that brought you into therapy.
Why are relationships so hard?
Yes. If this is your question, you’re in the right place. We all crave connection because it’s a basic human need. Yes - like food, clothing, and shelter. Our brains and our nervous systems are wired for connection. Your desire for closeness isn’t just frivolous fun. It’s actually crucial to the human species - an ancient part of your brain circuitry, inherited from generations and generations before you. For years, therapists had difficulty understanding relationships. Their nature seemed mysterious and elusive. That was until the advent of attachment theory. Attachment theory was pioneered by British psychologist John Bowlby (1907-1990) and has been enriched by the scholarship of countless other psychologists, scientists, and researchers. The theory gives us the first comprehensive, robust understanding of human relationships and shows us how to build the most important aspects of secure bonds. Using attachment theory, we see clear, definable patterns that make relationships either secure or insecure. This knowledge is a revolution for mental health. Relationships may be complicated, yes - but they are no longer incomprehensible or unexplainable. So breathe a sigh of relief - because we get it now. You may be wondering why you’re not familiar with attachment theory yet. Here’s the thing: we live in a toxic culture that promotes individualism at all costs. Our cultural norms deny our interconnectedness - unfortunately, at great expense to all of us. As it's vital for mental health and truly at the core of the human experience, I’m continually shocked by the general lack of public access to information about attachment. But, here we are. In an individualistic society, sadly, this stuff gets pushed to the side. Here's the thing, though - let’s change that in our therapy together. We’re going to value your relationships because we both know how important they are. Using attachment theory as our base, we’ll gain a better understanding of your relational patterns. You’ll start to see what needs to change so you can form secure connections with others. If you want more information, I also have some attachment-related book recommendations that’ll really jump-start your process. We’re going to use the science of attachment and the process of our therapy to help you feel more comfortable, confident, and secure in your relationships.
What advice would you give to someone who is hesitant to try therapy?
You might feel nervous before the consultation call or the first session. That's okay. I'm just going to ask you some questions about yourself and your relational style and the conversation will get flowing. I'll move at your pace and I'm happy to hang out with you in the shallow end for a while. We'll move to deeper waters when you're ready.
“My approach is warm, collaborative, relaxed, and conversational; I don't lecture you or "teach" you and instead we work together.”